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Thursday, February 23, 2017

writers workshop: fight

I have frustrations.  I don’t want to have frustrations.
As I’ve posted on here, I’ve made the decision to try other derby ventures.  This is to improve my skills and learn another type of game play.  I have been open about it, I haven’t been hiding anything.  I’ve been doing very well.  It has improved my game play for the original league I play for and also the league that I am just starting out with.
On the previous Wednesday, I had a decision to make.  There was a scrimmage at the new to me league that I was asked to participate in and practice at the other league.  I made the decision to attend the scrimmage.  I felt like this would benefit me more in the long run.  As an adult, I am allowed to make a decision that is advantageous to me.  Besides, these are both REC sports that I PAY to play in.
Thursday, I get a message from the co-captain.  It was fine.  We are friends.  I said I had previously made the plans before I realized that it was a team practice.  I asked what we did and the strategy that was discussed.  I know how to do all the things and work with the strategy regarding this.  I was also told that I need to be loyal to my team….   In five years, I can count on one hand the number of team practices I have missed.  For my first three years, I rarely missed a league practice, let alone a team practice.  For those first three years, my butt warmed that bench.  My loyalty got me not on the roster for most games and watching my team.  I worked hard and that was my reward.  But my loyalty remained and I attended the practices.
Last year, I was just worn out.  I attended my practices, I did my best, I got to play due to the new league rule that everyone must be rostered.  I played more.  I was still dedicated, I was still loyal.  I made the travel team to compete at our national tournament for MADE, so I know I’m not terrible.  The coach that picked me said she knew I had a lot of derby disappointments, that she has faith in me and my abilities and that is why I made the travel team.
So I get another message.  This time it’s from the captain of the team.  She has never once messaged me before.  Ever.  The message stated that they were “informed by a source that I skipped practice because I did not want to do endurance.  She wasn’t looking for apologies or excuses”.  Wait?  Who said anything about endurance?  I know I didn’t say anything about endurance.  No, it’s definitely not my favorite thing, but I never quit while doing it and I’ve never skipped a practice with endurance attached to it.  Why would I apologize or make excuses?  I hadn’t done anything wrong.   Also, hadn’t I been talking for half the day with someone else regarding things?  It took me a while to come up with a response.  But I did and I was proud of myself.  “Please let your source know that they were incorrect in their assumptions that I didn’t go to practice because of endurance.  I have been nothing but loyal to the Sheilas since I have started on the team and I have no plans of changing that now…..”  She responded that she doesn’t even know who that source is…but she knows that I have been loyal and I have made my practices.  She also had my back with the other members of “leadership” as they call themselves.  I had conversation with her regarding the strategy and that I have already asked questions of the ref crew regarding some new things we were thinking of.  It ended fine, but now I feel so uncomfortable with my team.  I feel like there is a grudge that will be held against me and it’s not fair.  They did not have problems with the other skaters on my team attending the other league and playing for both leagues.  Why was I singled out?  Oh, it’s because they need me now.  Because I am better.  Because I have been working hard.  Because I am making noticeable improvements.
I missed two weeks’ worth of practice three years ago.  I didn’t tell anyone why and no one ever asked.  No one even checked on me.  It was because I had surgery.  I would have told someone if they had asked or had checked up on me. 
Why does missing one practice matter now and not the two weeks back then? 

So I feel like I am now the black sheep for the league I have been with for six years.  And this makes me sad.  I didn't want to go out in a fight.  Well, a fight they want to have, not a fight I'm having with them.  They made travel team announcements and I did not make it.  I did not make it over someone who has not skated for two years and just passed their skills a few weeks okay.  I think that says it right there.  Also, a lot of people have words to say about that.

Anyway, game this weekend.  Tim Burton themed.  I did the halftime show.  I want to share the trivia, because it's fun.  I had fun coming up with the prizes and questions. 

I want to have fun and be the best I can be.  I guess someone else has made the decision on where I will be doing that.



  1. Oh Morgan...that is terrible. Terrible. You have every right to be frustrated - downright pissed off in my opinion. I am proud of you for taking a day to collect your thoughts and make a reply. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me and I go charging - I think you did it beautifully and sounded very respectful.
    Such a shame that they lost such a loyal and hard working player as yourself. I am glad that you're having a good time with the other league though. That's the point. To have fun. Keep at it girl!

  2. I'd be interested to know who's spreading rumors about you...

    1. I have a suspicion, but I'm going to let it go. :)

  3. Glad you've found your new derby home. It's a shame that something that is supposed to be fun is so filled with drama. Hope your new team is the best ever!

  4. I hate that feeling of been estranged from a place you once belonged. Hope you find some peace.

  5. Confrontations are stressful! Sorry you're going through that. It sounds like things are going well on the other team though. Hope that continues for you!

  6. Women can be so catty and petty with each other sometimes. That's telling point that they that they didn't ask about your 2 week absence. Definitely better to hang out with a team that appreciates and values you vs the one that doesn't.

  7. Γεια σας κυρίες και κύριοι
    Είμαι ο κ. LUC ASTRID. Η προσφορά δανείου για όλους τους ανθρώπους που επιθυμούν οικονομική βοήθεια είμαι σε θέση να κάνουν τα δάνεια που κυμαίνονται από 2.000 ευρώ σε 500 000 ευρώ, με επιτόκιο 3% για το ποσό που χρειάζεστε και με όρους αποπληρωμής που θα κάνουν τη ζωή ευκολότερη. Αν είστε στην ανάγκη Παρακαλείστε να επικοινωνήσετε μαζί μου μέσω e-mail:

  8. Oh geez...
    But who knows? Maybe you'll look back and see this as a good thing. Sounds like the other league might be a better place for you anyway.

  9. I think your response was a good one and handled in a mature and dignified way.That was a win for sure. :)

  10. Sounds like they don't like sharing you with another team. We're adults now...that is so weird and immature!